70 funny wedding wishes that make the couple laugh, not cringe

Congratulations on finding the one person who can put up with you forever. Braver than any soldier.

Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Well done.

Wishing you a lifetime of love, laughter, and pretending you don't hear each other from the next room.

Congratulations! May your Wi-Fi be strong and your arguments about the thermostat be brief.

You two are proof that soulmates exist — and that one of you will always steal the blankets.

Here's to a marriage full of love, joy, and only one person controlling the remote at a time.

Congratulations on upgrading from 'it's complicated' to 'legally obligated.' We couldn't be happier.

May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.

Marriage: because sometimes you find someone worth doing the dishes for. Congratulations to you both.

Wishing you both a long and happy marriage, and the wisdom to always let the other one win.

Congratulations! From this day forward you get to share your fries and blame each other for the mess.

To the happy couple: may your bank account grow, your arguments shrink, and your snacks never run out.

The secret to a happy marriage is simple: whoever is wrong should apologize, and it's usually him.

Rule one of marriage: the person who cares more about how it's loaded gets to load the dishwasher.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up all night arguing your point like true professionals.

The three magic words that keep a marriage strong: 'You were right.' Practise them daily.

Always share your snacks, split the last slice, and never, ever criticize the parallel parking.

Marriage tip: a happy 'yes, dear' has saved more evenings than any grand romantic gesture.

Remember, you're a team now. That means teaming up to blame the dog for the missing cake.

Choose your battles wisely — and remember the toilet seat is not the hill to die on.

The couple that laughs together lasts together, especially at each other's terrible dance moves.

Keep the romance alive by occasionally letting the other one think they picked the restaurant.

Budget for two things every marriage needs: date nights and 'I'm sorry' flowers. You're welcome.

Never underestimate the power of 'you're right, I'll do it your way' followed by doing it your way.

You're mint to be together.

Congratulations, you found your lobster.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Locked in for life. No refunds.

Two peas, one pod, zero regrets.

Here comes the fun.

Happily ever after starts now.

You said yes to the mess. Congratulations.

Officially each other's problem forever.

Love, laughs, and shared passwords.

Wedded and unbeatable.

I always knew you'd get married before me. Rude, but congratulations anyway — I love you both.

Thanks for finally making it official so I can stop pretending I didn't ship you two from day one.

You're my favourite couple, and not just because you have the best snacks. Congratulations, you two.

Congratulations! I promise to be the friend who reminds you both of the vows you just made.

Marriage looks good on you both, though honestly, so does everything. Wishing you a lifetime of joy.

I've seen you at your worst and they married you anyway — that's the real fairy tale. Congratulations.

So happy for you both. Also, I'm calling dibs on the guest room for every long weekend forever.

You found someone who laughs at your jokes and still stayed. That's a keeper. Congratulations, friend.

From late-night talks to your wedding day — I'm so proud of the family you two are becoming.

Cheers to my favourite people. May your marriage be as fun as our group chat and twice as chaotic.

I didn't cry at the ceremony, you cried at the ceremony. Congratulations to my favourite newlyweds.

You two are the couple everyone hopes to be. Thanks for setting the bar impossibly high for the rest of us.

Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. — may your love story have way fewer plot twists than ours.

Here's to the two of you: may your coffee be strong and your marriage even stronger.

Welcome to married life, where 'we' replaces 'me' and the last cookie is always negotiable.

May your marriage be full of laughter, tacos, and the occasional victory in a friendly argument.

Congratulations to a couple who makes forever look like the easiest yes in the world.

Wishing you both endless date nights, cozy Sundays, and a shared calendar you both actually check.

To the newlyweds: may you always be each other's favourite person and second-favourite chef.

Congratulations! May your home be full of love, laughter, and snacks neither of you admits to eating.

Here's to a marriage where the only cold shoulder is from leaving the freezer open too long.

Wishing you a life so happy that even your future selves are a little jealous of today.

May your marriage be like your best inside joke — hilarious, ridiculous, and only for the two of you.

Behind every great marriage is a couple who chose each other, then chose whose turn it is to cook. Congratulations.

Love is patient, love is kind, and love is letting them win the debate about the correct way to fold towels.

May you keep making each other laugh long after you've forgotten what the argument was even about.

The best part of forever is having a built-in partner for terrible ideas and beautiful moments alike.

Marriage isn't about finding someone perfect; it's about laughing at the same nonsense for decades. You nailed it.

Here's to a love that survives road trips, IKEA furniture, and choosing what to watch. You two can do anything.

Wishing you the kind of marriage where you're still each other's favourite person at your grumpiest.

May your home be loud with laughter, warm with love, and slightly cluttered with joy. Congratulations.

The real magic isn't the wedding — it's choosing each other again on the ordinary Tuesdays. Here's to a thousand of them.

You didn't just find a partner, you found the person who makes even doing nothing feel like something. Congratulations.

May you argue like best friends, forgive like family, and laugh like a couple who knows how lucky they are.

Here's to growing old together, staying young at heart, and blaming each other for who forgot to buy milk.